Why I Love Cheap Plonk

Yep, I love cheap wine. Now when I say cheap I have to point out that I’m not talking about Lambrini, even I couldn’t drink something that tastes like cat piss! No, I’m talking about Lambrusco and yes, I’m aware it sounds similar but the big difference is that Lambrusco actually tastes nice. There are white, red and rosé versions and they all have a lovely sweet taste which is just what I’m looking for. They usually cost less than £3 and are low alcohol which means it’s perfectly acceptable to have a glass while the kids are around, that’s just a Brucie bonus in my eyes.

I’m also partial to a nice bottle of Martini Asti (not a whole bottle all at once mind you) but this is at the top end of my budget and has a higher alcohol volume. Depending where you shop these sparkling little lovelies can cost anything up to £7.50.

I’m not ashamed to admit that when I’m shopping for booze I will always go for the cheap stuff and here’s why…

1. We’re broke. Well not actually broke as in bankrupt but we don’t have as much money as we’d like. I guess that’s what happens when you breed like sodding rabbits and have a billion kids to look after. Anyway, spending money on alcohol isn’t a priority so cheap stuff suits our budget.

2. Expensive drink becomes too precious. This actually happened with a bottle of expensive champagne that Bear bought me for Christmas 2015. I didn’t want to waste the ‘good stuff’ so I was saving it for a special occasion. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant with Thing 4 so that bottle of champagne sat there teasing me until Christmas 2016. By that point it had become like a frigging religious icon, I was actually scared to open it!

I finally popped that cork and poured myself a glass, took a couple of sips then realised there was a stream of bubbles coming up from something at the bottom of the glass. It was only a sodding midgey fly in my expensive champagne. So what the hell should I do, I’d waited a whole bloody year for that drink and it was really expensive so I didn’t want to throw it away. Oh the dilemma.

I drank it. I fished the bugger out and drank the fly champagne. Not my finest moment but there was no way I was wasting that drink.

My point here is that I wouldn’t have had that issue if it had been a bottle of cheap plonk, the drink would’ve been thrown out no questions asked.

So unless you’re loaded (in which case, do you wanna be my friend 😉) always stick to cheap plonk, it’s much safer.

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